Making Peace oo Confessions of Cartwright Ex
by Dreamer1985
Summary: Years after Divorcing Little Joe's Ex-wife finally speaks out to her children on the matter


**Making Peace**

**(Confessions of a Cartwright Ex)**

**A Short One Shot**

(I used the names which they used on the remake of Bonanza for Little Joe's children; I did not come up with them on my own).

**oooooooooooo**

The Ponderosa's main house was empty until Sarah and "BJ" walked in from the funeral services of Little Joe. The other family members would soon follow, but for now BJ's questions in regards to what his father and mother had spoken of behind closed doors was coming out came out once he saw his mother sitting in the dark chair next to the set of stairs going up to the second floor of the Cartwright home.

"We made peace with each other." Angela smiled; it felt good to finally have that on the subject of Joseph Francis Cartwright, her ex-husband.

"So, why didn't you go to the funeral then?" BJ.'s dark face might as well have started a thunderstorm inside the house.

"Honey, I mourned the loss of your father years ago. I didn't need a funeral to make any closure." Angela sighed, but then smiled as Sarah begged her to tell them her side of what had broken up the marriage, and why she hadn't said anything before now.

"Your father and I were married in our twenties. We both were strong willed and adventuresome. He had his good points and for years I've kept my mouth shut out love for those traits. Also, I've kept quiet out of a deep respect to your grandfather. I also did not want to come across as being the bitter ex wife, so…I simply kept my mouth shut. But now, I think it's my turn to defend myself." She spoke that looking straight at her son who had judged her harshly over the years and had been the one who criticized her for insisting his father move her away from Nevada. He'd really thrown quite a childish fit when she refused to come back once Ben fell ill.

"It's true I insisted we leave Virginia City and the Ponderosa, but it wasn't because I couldn't handle living out west or that I had anything against your Grandfather Ben. Nor was it true I had no intentions of us coming back. No, it was simply because I wanted to give us time to get solid footing in regards to our marriage." Seeing as how Joe Jr. was still scowling, she kept her eyes on Sarah.

"We were young. He'd always been on the Ponderosa and around your Grandfather Ben. We needed to time to make sure apron strings would get cut." She went on, "Yes, I freely admit our marriage falling apart was partly my fault. My short fuse and my serious nature did not help lighten any foul mood, but the idea that your father was without fault was, and is, just as insane as putting the whole blame onto me." When her son went to say something she pointed her finger at him and firmly told him to let her have her say.

"Years ago I had as much bitterness inside myself as you, as I just 'knew my only real crime was not having the decency to die'." When both her children's eyes flew wide open she pressed on, before either one of them could speak. "I know that sounds harsh, but trust me; I have let go of any ill feelings. Still, the truth of the matter was as much as your father loved me, he could not handle a long term relationship. Every woman that had married his father had died. Your Uncle Adam married in Australia only to have his wife die after Adam Jr was born. Hoss only had one child before he, himself, died. Anyone else who his father or brothers had courted died or left of their own accord. I was supposed to do the same."

"Only you didn't, not at first anyway." Sarah spoke softly.

"No, not at first," Angela pleaded with both her children to understand, "Your father did the best he could, but as much as you might not like it, he chose not to handle it. Yes, I could have stayed, maybe I should have, but I didn't. The memory of Elizabeth, Inger, and his mother were just too strong here. I couldn't live under those shadows."

"I guess that makes sense. I just wish things had been different." Sarah let out her own sigh. "I mean Paul's a great stepfather, but he's not dad."

"I know." Angela sighed when her son walked out the door.

"Think BJ will ever come to terms with it, or your remarriage, himself?" Sarah rubbed her dress.

"I don't know, but today is your time to mourn your father's passing. He needs that time too. He may not have liked my answer, maybe even wanted a longer explanation, but there is none." The woman stood up, kissed her daughter on the top of the head and did as she'd told Joe she would….left without fuss or fanfare. After all, she'd only come back out west to make peace with him and nothing else.


End file.
